I can’t tell you how many times it’s ran across my mind, exactly when did multiple sclerosis choose me? Did I miss something, how long was my body screaming something was wrong??? Was I so caught up in my busy life that I didn’t read the signs? Signs, what do they mean to you if any? I find it funny how since my diagnosis I read into signs now more than ever. I analyze what people say more now than ever. I study how people cope with struggle, fight their weaknesses and conquer their goals. I now notice how easily people get angry, frustrated, systematically upset they can’t just stomp their feet, wave a wand and just “FIX IT”! Truth be told some of us just wish we could stomp our feet! Ever wonder why things happen the way they do? Ever wonder how to deal with it all? Ever wonder why you are the one dealing with this beast? Just want you to know you’re not the only one who thinks these things.
Truth be told, even as difficult as multiple sclerosis is, it still isn’t the end of life! There is still always someone out there worse off than you. It may not even have to do with a physical disability, a mental disability. No one’s life is perfect so I try to find reasons to justify the situation in my life. What can I do with it? Let’s see, I’m slow, so I can’t win 1st place in a relay race, I’ve lost coordination, so unless there’s a dance competition via walker, doubt I would place, and I forget what I’m going to say often so I probably shouldn’t audition for a leading role in a play, oh but that WILL NOT STOP ME! I just decided to improve in the roles I already exist in.
I know for sure I’m a better mother since MS introduced itself. I care more toward others. I’m much more patient toward accidents like spilling and dropping things. How could I not, I drop, spill and break things all the time. You soon realize the things that break can be replaced. Your life cannot!!! Since my body slowed down, unfortunately my whole world slowed down! I’m grateful for it! Understanding is real! For me, I’m spiritual, so my life “chopped and screwed” to a much slower tempo put a whole new meaning to “BE STILL”! I no longer lack understanding for so many things. Understanding about life! Ever wonder what you should do with your slow -down tempo? Ever wonder why things happen the way they do? Ever wonder why things happen to you and not others? Have you taken the time to realize how blessed you still are? Maybe your neighbor gets up every morning before the sun comes up, gets her morning jog in while you sit and wish you could do the same, not realizing she’s unhappy at home, miserable at work, and has contemplated rather her life is worthy enough to do it again the next day.
You only see that she is jogging. You only see what she allows you to see so slow down a minute. Stop looking at others wishing and hoping. She could be wondering why your so happy, she may wish her smile was as ginuine as yours or that when you laugh, she hears music wishing she had your strength, your fight, your will.
Ever wonder why people say the things they say, do the things they do, act the way they act? Ever wonder why you say the things you say do the things you do, act the way you act? Are you applying yourself to benefit yourself and others? Do you realize you may be sitting in a position that can strengthen others? Ever wonder why some people may be drawn to you? If you fight Multiple Sclerosis, to me, you are WARRIOR.
Some may want to be tall, athletic, strong, “appear Warrior-like. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that got Goliath very far! He was out smarted! David was smaller, disabling in “appearance” compared to Goliath but had fight, faith, and will to win! Everyone doubted David! But intersect the situation, he came up with out of the ordinary ways to conquer his battle. Last I checked I have to do this every single day of my life and so do you. Find other ways, out of the ordinary to survive. What 5 stones do you use to win your daily battles? I promise if you slow down, be still enough, you can name all five of your stones. So stop asking yourself why you have the stones and figure out how you’re going to use them!!!